Wabi-sabi in action

When faced with disappointment or frustration, my mother would sigh and say, "There's no such thing as perfect." After years of painful experience, I learned she was right. I also learned that she wasn't the only or first to discover this wisdom. Artisans throughout history have purposefully included what others might consider flaws or mistakes in their work. This practice is embraced in the ancient Japanese worldview of wabi-sabi. It felt right to include this in See Me, introducing it in Day One. I also acted upon it. The book contains intentional hiccups. Some are obvious, others are better camouflaged. For me, they're reminders that perfection cannot be created by human hands. Comfort and peace, even relief, come with acceptance. Of what is for each of us to answer.

· Mention of the ancient Japanese philosophy of wabi-sabi, symbolized by the shibori tie-dye shirts made by Amy, is sprinkled throughout the novel. How does this worldview grow in significance to Jackie?

· Early in the book, Jackie is reminded of what her brother labeled the “minorities and authorities reflex.” Have you ever experienced something similar? If so, how did you handle it? How did you learn what to do?

· During her interview with her lawyer, Wayne Lagergren, Jackie wonders about his family’s immigration and acculturation story. How much do you know about your family’s journey, culminating in who and where you are today?

· Jackie observes that “in my parents’ house, loving family members without actually liking them was a given.” How do you think this affects her relationships with Willem, Natasha, and Stefan? How about with Rachel, Angie, and Liz? 

· Food and drink are prominently featured in the book. Jackie tells us what is made or served by whom and how characters, herself included, behave while eating. In your opinion, why does Jackie pay so much attention to these details?

· When Allan asks Jackie what she learned about her Korean heritage, Jackie tells him the story of “Why Dog Chases Cat.” Why do you think she shares this with him at this time? What significance do you think it holds for each of them, both in that moment and as the novel ends?

· Wartime trauma is a legacy that runs through both Jackie and Amy’s families. What traumas affect other characters? How do you think they affect the group’s chemistry?

· “Amy’s most common complaint” about her family was “mysteries and secrets, and lies, lies, lies.” What mysteries, secrets, and lies run through the relationships between the characters in the book? Do you feel they’re satisfactorily resolved by the end? If not, where do you imagine the characters going with them?

· Even though they’re mental health professionals, mutual “lack of cultural awareness” causes a lot of friction between the members of RAJE. Rachel confronts Jackie with the fact that she also hides parts of herself in order to fit into RAJE. How did Jackie’s response to Rachel’s revelation hit you? What strategies have you learned and relied on to fit in and be accepted?

· Cultural differences, particularly those between collectivism and individualism, are discussed among the investigating team. How do you see these differences affect the group’s dynamics? Do you know where you fall on the scale? 

· What other aspects of culture and multiculturalism are addressed in See Me? Which of these elements are operative in your life?

· During one flashback of a therapy session with Amy, Jackie remembers: “I wove as many thematic threads as I could.” What other thematic threads did you discover running through the novel? How do you see them affect Jackie and the other characters? Have any of these threads been significant in your life?